Thursday, 14 December 2006

THROUGH JAPANESE WINDOWS, DARKLY

A Far Eastern correspondent writes:

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Micro$oft Error messages with classic Haiku poetry messages. They say that "Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: Five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third. Haiku is used to communicate a timeless message often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen":

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Your file was so big.

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

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The Website you seek

Cannot be located, but

Countless more exist.

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Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

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Program aborting:

Close all that you have worked on.

You ask far too much.

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Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

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Yesterday it worked.

Today it is not working.

Windows is like that.

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First snow, then silence.

This thousand-dollar screen dies

So beautifully.

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With searching comes loss

And the presence of absence:

"My Novel" not found.

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The Tao that is seen

Is not the true Tao - until

You bring fresh toner.

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Stay the patient course.

Of little worth is your ire.

The network is down.

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A crash reduces

Your expensive computer

To a simple stone.

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Three things are certain:

Death, taxes and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

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You step in the stream,

But the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

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Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

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Having been erased,

The document you're seeking

Must now be retyped.

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Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

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Realisation

Dawning on my mind

Windows sucks, log off



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Haiku is fine.
Japanese Limerick, no?.
Tell me the difference.
(PS I am not cultured)

butwhatif said...

It's an urban legend, isn't it? They were written in the West for a competition organised on salon.com or something.


After being on the phone to Injan call-centres all day, here's mine, composed on their behalf.

"Open your ears first,
And speech becomes much richer.
Eat muzac sucker."