Thursday, 22 February 2007

ACHTUNG! PANIC AT THE YELLOW DUCK POND

Tennessee: Vibrating Sponge Duck Declared Sex Toy


A woman in Tennessee has tried to sell a yellow sponge in the shape a of duck and the authorities are upset - because the duck vibrates. Is vibrating really so bad? Evidently it is because vibrating things seem to be classified as "sex toys" in Tennessee.

ABC News reports:


"Nothing we do is nasty, unless you have a nasty mind," she said, turning a knob on the yellow ducky's tail to make the sponge vibrate. "My 3-year-old son loves to play with this duck in the bath. He puts it on his neck and on his head."

Williams said she'll be back at the flea market next year. "If she does, she'll be cited into court," York said. "That duck is a sexual toy, and it was on display. That was a vibrator on display in public view."

I wonder if they will ban pencils and pens next because, you know, they are so obviously phallic. So many children using pencils in school and home are having their minds warped by the normalization of sex toys and that just isn't acceptable in a godly society like ours.


[Purloined from About website]

23 comments:

lavenderblue said...

Erm.....where might one purchase one of these little toys.......the Snug - a sideline of Mr.Beadle, perhaps?

1loneranger said...

Morning All-

Exactly lavblue, I want one too, ummm, make that two!
Having spent a lot of time in Tennessee with my ex, "the grape peeler", and her family this story doesn't surprise me at all. TN is a beautiful State, but some of the folks there subscribe to some backwards ideas. It's a mountain state. If you catch my drift?
This aforementioned ex's father referred to me as 'The Yankee', and I was from Virginia. Tennessee is the "Deep South" baby!
I was always looking over my shoulder, ready for her dad to pull out the shotgun and chase me off the property.

anticant said...

There's another wonderful post on similar topics by Rogier on his "Nobody's Business" blog [link via the arena].

Lobster Blogster said...

Phallic is of course a complete red herring, first noted in undergraduate skittles teams circa 1983/4. The problem is much bigger: a single 4inch pencil contains a graphite core. This is exactly the same material, apart from the finely sharpened point used when drafting secret maps and bombing diagrams, which is at the very heart of nuclear reactors.

I think its a direct quote to say that it was Craig Murray who coined the phrase "Be afraid, be verily afraid": I have a first edition of his book, signed of course and in hardback, and he seemed a friendly enough chap when i met him in St Albans one evening.

Is he speaking in London this saturday. If he is, i should very much like to hear him... . BANG!

zola said...

remember that old one about the constipated mathematician?
Worked it out with a pencil.

trousers said...

Cucumbers: must we fling this filth at our salad-eating youth?

yellowduck said...

Damn. The secret is out.

anticant said...

Got you shaking all over, has it, YD?

yellowduck said...

Isn't that what you would like me to do, eh ;)?

lavenderblue said...

Feathers flying, legs akimbo
Yellow duck is now in limbo
Hot chicks come from miles away
Just to have their wicked way
With Yellow.

anticant said...

You're probably both too young to remember the hokey-cokey?

lavenderblue said...

heard of it of course, was it, ahem, sexy ?

lavenderblue said...

ah- you put your left leg in
Your left leg out
and shake it all about ??

anticant said...

Got it!

lavenderblue said...

By Jove she's got it !

trousers said...

In - out - in - out
Shake it all about

*goes for a lie down*

lavenderblue said...

HAHAHA!!!
The beadle is doing a good deal on these yellow ducks, he's the one wearing the flat cap, with a market traders barrow, calling 'Nah then, Nah then , Sommat fer the weekend, Ladies '

loneranger said...

I've just turned myself about.
I love these threads.
The "hokey cokey"?
We called that the "hokey pokey" down in the colonies. (not sure what the canucks call it)

I'm ready for a reel now, or maybe a square dance anyone?
Anything with a banjo will do for the loneranger. ;) Yee-haw

zola said...

Hey : after all this chat I feel like a duck.

anticant said...

Lesson time, children:

Hokey cokey [or hokey pokey] is said to have derived from the words used by the priest in the Roman Catholic Mass when consecrating the Host - "hoc est enim corpus meum". The doctrine that when thus blessed the communion wafer becomes the actual body of Christ was mocked by Protestants as magical "hocus pocus". Wars were fought and martyrs killed because of their refusal to believe or else to abandon this belief - how these Christians love one another!

The dance was brought over to Britain by American servicemen during WW2, and became very popular. I remember dancing it at office Christmas parties in the 1950s.

anticant said...

Good morning, Zola. You're bright and early. Do you look like a duck? Better watch out for the Beadle - he's in quacking form this morning.

The Burrow Beadle said...

Now, now Mr Zola - no skinnydipping here, if you please!

By Order

zola said...

Can I do me fatty dripping then?
Lard to dance with a beadle on me back
hee hee
oh !