Saturday, 14 July 2007

BURROW BOUNDARIES

Anticant writes:

The Burrow is, I hope, a friendly place where people feel free to drop in for a gossip, a joke, and a noggin. We have a great crowd of regulars in the Snug, and I want them, and more occasional visitors, to enjoy themselves.

However, there are on occasion comments made which jar with the atmosphere and ethos of the place, and I'd be grateful if people would sometimes think more carefully before posting.

When the Beadle says "No [this, that or the other] in the Burrow, By Order", he isn't just being comic: he is expressing Anticant's preferences.

For one thing, the Burrow is a free house and it's quite likely that some very young visitors look in now and then.

I'd much prefer them not find suggestive graffiti, sexual innuendo, or swearwords - all of which are, to my mind, quite unnecessary for an entertaining conversation and lower the tone.

So let's leave the effing, c...ing and blinding to A Campbell and his ilk, shall we, and keep sexy talk out of the Snug - there are plenty of other sites for you to indulge in that, if you want to. Thanks.

42 comments:

Excel said...

Gdzie do kurwy nedzy jest paszport.?

ben trovato said...

Whatever that means.

Merkin said...

I detect a little bit of Road Rage from that new car, no?
Zola and Variat Wook are relegated to the boot, me thinketh.

anticant said...

Any more Polish prattle, and you will get the Order of the Boot.

Emmett said...

ER, Sorry....

s/Wook. Neo-presbyterian

anticant said...

Nothing for you or anyone else to be sorry for, dear Wook, as long as the temptation to adorn the Burrow loo walls [also antique tiling, BTW] with remarks more suited to retarded schoolboys behind the bike sheds is resisted.

zola a social thing said...

Don't throw a wobbler on this one me old matey.
I suspect my own comments are really a kind of "car-envy" ( I do not have a car you see).
There you see - no sex.

zola a social thing said...

The Beadle of the Parish, when he demands order in the house "is not just being comic" these are the preferences of Judge Anticant.
Such are the words that spank me.

But, I ask, what is the difference between these preferences and the comic?

As you see i was a fan of the Goon show and Spike Milligan won the war.
I was also forced into various bards of the theatre where tragedy was just another word for reality.

lead on McBeadle lead on.
I blame the UK education system mesen.

anticant said...

No wobblers, Zo-Zo [sorry - Zola-Ink-Spots], just impotent frustration and sadness at the dire effects of old age and ill health in terminating an important and hitherto delightful aspect of life that won't, alas, be remedied by all the junk-email adverts for penis enlargement and viagra that flood in daily. [Why do none of these email programmes provide an EFFECTIVE filter for junk mail? A small fortune awaits the creator of one.]

I would gladly do without a car - very expensive to buy and to run - if taxis weren't so unreliable. My driving is strictly functional - two or three times a week for shopping and hospice visiting. No joy-riding in prospect - at least until the weather improves.

The Beadle is also a Goon fan. He functions on the principle that if he doesn't carry out his regulatory duties rigorously we shall all, as Minnie Crun used to say, be murdered in our beds....

zola a social thing said...

No Min no ( Lavender on heat)
ah, you bluebottle ( the real anticant discussing with the Beadle of the Parish)
Let us all walk backwards for Christmas across the Irish sea.
Good on yer Antianger.

Anonymous said...

Yang tang tiddle i poo
tiddle i poo

The Burrow Beadle said...

Knicker waving will be permitted in the Burrow between 3pm and 4pm every other Tuesday.

NB. "Every other Tuesday" means every Tuesday except the current one.

By Order

zola a social thing said...

Good to see you getting back on form me old mate.
I mean that.
Yee-haaaaa
Anticant back on the postmodern bubble.

trousers said...

I blame all this on the smoking ban, it might have cleared the air in the snug in one respect, but as a consequence has turned it blue.

zola a social thing said...

My smoking does little harm to anyone methinks.
My failure to be civil harms more.
My lack of real political action then becomes a sin.
Shit I am now labelled as a terrorist.
Really must change my words.
Fuck the smoking ban.
There you have it.
Bullshit baffles brains they say.

anticant said...

Anticant has a chronic chest complaint, and smoking is poison to him. He gave it up himself 40 years ago, and is now an ardent poacher-turned-gamekeeper.

Smoking should strictly be a matter for consenting persons in private, and Anticant isn't a consenting person. It's a difficult issue for a self-styled libertarian, I know, but -

DEFINITELY No Smoking in the Burrow, or anywhere within a mile of Anticant!

Penalty: 24 hours in the stocks.

By Order

lavenderblue said...

Are the stocks Night Scented ?

Emmett said...

THE Ill-barely-not-quite-just-repressed-noe-too-successfully smut-atmosphere persists in spite of numerous complaints to the watch-house -- as acting CC for Senior Inspector Dullpenny, I'm going to put down a load of these here administrative detention-orders & OTSASBOs, just as soon as I can find my nappy little letter-of-marque from G Brown & Crew, Unltd.

Sheriff Wook, Back In The Saddle

Bomb Iran Now without swearing said...

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
brown paper packages tied up with strings,
these are a few of my favorite things.

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels,
door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
these are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings,
when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
brown paper packages tied up with strings,
these are a few of my favorite things.

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels,
door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
these are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings,
when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.

Emmett said...

I Have a perception developed on the basis of, oh, /years/ of police-work among the pervs & slashers, and it is this:

THE LavB painting of The Beadle (an excellent /ouevre/, no doubt about /that/!), whilst I have no doubt pulsing with verisimilitude, conveys as well an harsh & minatory impression, namely that of Judge Jeffries -- Old West Country Jeffries, I mean....

THIS Is doubtless unintended, I am sure, but subliminally in fact the lowering image (it /is/ disapprobatory) only incites the impulse-disordered and other products of post-modern UK schools, to grafitti & other solecisms.

THESE Are positively agonising impulses all the harder for the afflicted to fend off because of all the alarming /soy/ now in the popular diet (/it/ inhibits zinc-uptake & makes people even more stupid than reading Rupert Murdoch!)

SO, If LB could be induced to apply a jovial /smirk/ to the now-foreboding countenance, well...?

s/Wook, Retired Chief Constable & /beaux artiste/

ben trovato said...

A very unoriginal and repetitive contribution from Bomb Iran Now. Just what one would expect from a pure Disneyland character like Dick Cheney [Hi, Veep, you sentimental old thing!].

Three free rounds for the best [in the Burrow court's judgement] version of 'My Favourite Things' as the real-life Mephisto Dick would write it.

The Burrow Beadle said...

I have yet to pen "Secrets of the Studio", my account of my portrait sittings with the fragrant Miss Lavender.

However, I recall that during those otherwise happy moments I was, as always, on the alert for an outbreak of knicker waving on the Burrow precincts, which may well account for my furrowed brow.

sniffy said...

Night-scented stocks? Depends on what the occupants had eaten for dinner. He,he.

The Burrow Beadle said...

No wind to be broken in the stocks.

By Order

Anonymous said...

How does this Beadle get his kicks I wonder.

lavenderblue said...

Excuse me ?
The Beadle gets his 'kicks' as you,'anonymous 'puts it, through enjoying life to it's full and with respect for decency - OK ?
Up yours.

The Burrow Beadle said...

The Beadle well knows how to exercise his cloven hooves on the posteriors of anonymous graffiti scribblers and knicker wavers.

zola a social thing said...

LavenderBlue : Sexy talk like that is not allowed, by order, in the Burrow.
But we like it.

Not Mary Whitehouse said...

Sexy talk is OK in the Burrow as long as it's not smutty, and doesn't [in D.H. Lawrence's words] do dirt on sex.

The test is: would you read it in one of Dame Barbara's bosom-heavers?

FFS said...

The Halliburton Co. announced today that it had won a $42-billion no-bid contract from the U.S. government to reconstruct the reputation of Vice President Dick Cheney.

While Halliburton has been known for massive reconstruction projects in such war-torn nations as Iraq, the $42-billion contract represents the first time that the company has been employed to put its reconstruction expertise to work on one embattled human being.

At the White House, spokesman Scott McClellan defended the $42-billion price tag for the reconstruction effort, telling reporters, “Given how much work Dick Cheney’s reputation is going to take to rebuild, at the end of the day that $42-billion contract is going to look like a bargain.”

Mr. McClellan likened the state of Mr. Cheney’s reputation to conditions on the ground in Iraq, “only worse.”

But even as Halliburton began gearing up for the daunting task of reconstructing the vice president’s reputation, an unlikely critic of the plan, Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) questioned the wisdom of even attempting to rebuild Dick Cheney.

Rep. Hastert said that based on what he had seen of Mr. Cheney’s reputation in recent days, it reminded him of the city of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, making him wonder whether the vice president could be rebuilt at all.

“It looks like a lot of Dick Cheney could be bulldozed,” Rep. Hastert said.

Elsewhere, breaking with a longstanding tradition set by his predecessor, Alan Greenspan, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke delivered his first economic report to Congress in English.

http://tinyurl.com/bcpno

ben trovato said...

I see the above was originally posted in February 2006, so in typically Halliburton fashion they don't seem to have made much progress with the assignment.

Emmett said...

THE Great difficulty is in the direction indicated by not mary whitehouse -- namely, to restore some actual /wit/ to the whol;e undertaking.

IN the States, three generations back now, the young knew something about verse and metre and declamation, in exploring the corporeal /demimonde/:

http://oldunclecrow.wordpress.com/2006/07/09/she-gave-it-a-rifle-twist/

The Burrow Beadle said...

Any more of that, and into the stocks with you!

By Order

Emmett said...

AH, Me! I reckon it's about time to put up ANOTHER whinge here, this one has about "farted out" as my indefatigueable speakers of the Reduced Midland American known as Lakese Dialect would say....

("FARTED Out" would be about the same as to implications as my old English Dad's 'clapped out', I reckon?)

Emmett said...

SPEAKING Of which...do any of you sods recognise the forms /cunoden/ and /mort/, as set forth in the following plangent little comtemporary exercise, in south-central Minnesota dialectology?

http://oldunclecrow.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/quantification-in-a-minnesota-idiolect/

WHAT Did YOUR mums call the dried-up odd bits, I wonder?

zola a social thing said...

In Finland once, in a graveyard, I was checking out history and names.
Came across MORT.
Got out me camera and clicked just as a funeral group was passing. Did not mean that but it happened.
Was that artistic or luck?

anticant said...

Serendipity.

zola a social thing said...

Insulting it was to those in the funeral group!!!!!

Emmett said...

NOT Necessarily. they probably said, 'oh, look, 'tis some Limey & he AIN'T drunk, plus he ain't got on any of them footer-duds, neither!'

[OR Are you, Zola, a Finlander? Then, doubtless, they said:

['OOH! Hit's one of OUR mob -- H'and he HAIN'T drunk -- why, fancy that!'

[OH, Never mind, /I/ think I'm funny...remind me to tell you the story of the Finnish brothers in Cloquet, Minnesota, who played mandolin and guitar at my adoption-ceremony, in 1984.]

zola a social thing said...

That was funny Emmet and ok. I am half Finlander ( which half is still under debate).

When the hell is our Antiprotestant going to get back his work ethic and make a new post? Soon I will be forced into bad language and sexy things.
Crank up the anticrank we say.

Merkin said...

Two Finns don't make a shoal as they say where I come from.

zola a social thing said...

More of that music on-line Merk.
My son loved it.
Me too.