Saturday, 17 November 2007

ANTICANT AND THE NAUGHTY BLOGGERS - Scene 3

A gloomy forest. Little Red-faced Red Riding Boots appears, threading her way through the trees. She sees a bright light ahead of her in a clearing, and moves towards it. As she steps out into the clearing, a radiant beautifully dressed lady with a star in her hair and a magic wand appears:

Good Fairy:

“I am your fairy godmother, LavenderBlue.

I have the lousy task of overseeing you.

I don’t much like what you get up to,

But here’s three wishes I’ll make come true.”

LRRRB:

“O Godmother, I want to be a Queen

And make my rivals sick with envy green.

I long to be so stinking rich

They’ll never dare to call me horrid bitch.

I want men at my beck and call

So life will be one endless ball.”

GF:

“All these I grant, but mark my words:

Pleasures and troubles come in herds,

And when you’ve had your bit of fun

Troubles will follow at a run”.

LRRRB:

“Your sombre forecasts don’t dismay me –

I’m off to find a man to lay me.”

She exits in the direction of Grandpa Wolfie’s cottage. LavenderBlue shakes her head and murmurs: “Little does she know what awaits here there…..”

11 comments:

zola a social thing said...

Lay down,lay it down, lay it all down
Let the W(R)ight man ........

Christmas presents to those that can idenitfy the singer of this song.

Emmett said...

I Fully expect, of course, that now the Beadle will be compromised in his justiciary role, by propinquity; and, that we may now expect posthaste an extension of the twenty-eight days' detention-regimine, therefore, to ninety or even an hundred days!

zola a social thing said...

Do you have a problem with your periods or what?
Please respect the Anti-Always.
I get me periods every 12 hours god damnit.
But I handle it.

Emmett said...

A Gloomy third-class waitingroom in Old England. Little Red Riding Rig on her way to a panting client with her switch & gudger-gun steps in from the platform, and past the reeking loo. From the shadows forth steps the aging polysexual perv and former farmer, Wook, touring the museums and doing geneaology in the fog & mirk, flapping the sodden stinking wings of his smirking burberry:

"COME Here, 'Ickle Gitl...Gampa have sumfin sweet fer Thee!"

BLAM!

LRRR Unloads her gudger-gun and blows the old rustic straight to Hell....

MORAL?

'ICKLE Gitls don't fall fer the swill the way they used too!

the burrow drafting committee said...

That's Scene 4.....

Emmett said...

LRRR Wants to know where a girl can get MORE ammo in this Nulab Hellhole?

Emmett said...

AUNTY, You Limey Elder Jraud, you just been SPAMMED, Man, by some Illegal Mexican pretending to vend advert postings to bloggers for some sort of hypothetical cash....

NO Es, Man, Viva la Raza!

s/Wook, Cosmopolite

Emmett said...

FRAUD! Not "Jraud!" Christ on a Clap Ward....

jaypar said...

hello i enjoy your blogs

zola a social thing said...

Anticant : naughty naughty.
You have obviously been "providing" enjoyment and you have satisfied the "outcome" that any educationalist would aspire towards.
Anticant - you are in the enjoyment game.
OK, I am not serious.

ben trovato said...

"It aint no sin
To take off your skin
And dance around in your bones."

A free noggin in the Snug for whoever identifies the singer.