BEN'S GLEANINGS

Ben Trovato has been surfing the internet [again!] and has come up with the following:

A MESSAGE FROM HELL

A man checked into a hotel in Australia. There was a computer in his room. He decided to send an e-mail to his wife. Unfortunately he clicked on the wrong address.

Meanwhile, a friend’s widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. She checked her e-mail, expecting to find condolences from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. Her son rushed in and found her on the floor. Then he looked at the message on the computer screen, which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I’ve Arrived

“I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you’re allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

PS It’s damned hot down here!!

And, for Wook:

CUNNING OLD GRANDPA

An old farmer had a pond in his back field which was OK for swimming. One evening he went down to see everything was alright, and heard people splashing about and laughing. As he drew nearer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping. They retreated into the deep end of the pond, and one of them shouted “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The canny old man replied: “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond. I only came to feed my alligators.”