Thursday, 22 November 2007

HIGHWAY TO JESUS

ben trovato writes:

According to an article in today's Independent, the 80-year-old 'Archbishop' of an Atlanta Protestant mega-church told one of his congregation that sleeping with him was "the surest path to eternal salvation". He then proceeded to have a 14-year affair with her, and also borrowed $400,000 from her husband - a pastor at the church - to settle a suit from a member of his congregation who claimed she had been sexually assaulted by him since she was seven years old.

Now, a paternity test has revealed that the Archbishop fathered a 34-year-old son - who is now the church's head pastor! - by his brother's wife.

The Archbishop has been praised by President Bush for "his extraordinary work for God and the community".

Yes indeed! This outfit gives a whole new meaning to the Love of God. Carry on bonking and pass the collection plate......

5 comments:

Emmett said...

WHERE Is this church, WHERE is it, Maaaan...how can GRANDPA here sign up, Maaaaaaan?

zola a social thing said...

Just following the good book meLord.
"Go forth and multiply" was never meant to mean fuck off you know.

ben trovato said...

Easiest way is to found your own family church - they're ten a penny [or dime] in the good ol' US of A.

I'd have thought Grandpa Wook was off to a flying start with his choir of lewd maidens. a few rousing sermons and hymn raps and they'll all come flocking......

dame barbara de carteblanche said...

As soon as we've finished the panto, I shall begin work on my next bosom-throbber: "All a'heave for God".

The heroine, Esmeralda, is still a virgin, tho' a lewd one. She meets Grandpa Wook, a shrewd old Sufi who lures her to his pad in the deepest Bible Belt, where she finds herself amongst 100 other lewd maidens who are eagerly undergoing various stages of initiation into Heavenly Rapture.

The plot hinges upon Esmeralda's vicissitudes in preserving her virginity - which she does until the last page - in such lascivious company.

I guarantee a sell-out.

Half a dozen large pink gins, please, Ben dear.

Emmett said...

I'LL Take mine neat, barman, 2 oz of 'Tangueray' straight up in a 7 oz highball glass...NONE of these God-damned american "rocks"!