Thursday, 12 June 2008

IT DOESN'T TAKE INCEST TO MAKE AN IMBECILE

One of the joys of blogging is that one every now and then comes across fascinating nuggets of totally useless recondite information that boggle the mind.

Thus, from a commentator on Ken Frost’s “Nanny Knows Best” blog we learn that the borough of Wigan and Leigh is privileged to possess an official who is styled the ‘Hate Crimes Co-ordinator’, and who has, according to his own testimony, been in post for the past five years. This gentleman – who shall be nameless here, although the poster who I am quoting is bolder than I am – recently delivered himself of the following priceless observation in the local press:

“Imbeciles was the old name for those children that are borne from incestuous relationships. It is a little known fact that a certain area within the borough of wigan and leigh had the highest rate of imbeciles in the UK. Its true to say that at one point in the history of the borough....some fathers thought on it as their priveledge to de-flower their daughters. Infact in some areas, it was the expectation. Thank goodness for new blood coming into the Borough. The aggression from some people on the issue of 'new blood coming into the area' is, the view of many,...that this is infact remnants of 'the good old days',..as it were.” [Spelling and punctuation as in original].

This, as “Nanny’s” poster points out, amounts to a hate crime in itself, and one would imagine that there are now districts of Wigan and Leigh which the Hate Crimes Co-ordinator would be prudent to regard as personal no-go areas. I doubt whether this was the scenario George Orwell had in mind when he set out on the road to Wigan pier all those years ago.

Since reading this juicy item, Ben Trovato has been wandering around the Burrow composing a saucy limerick about the Incestuous Fathers of Wigan, muttering suitably vulgar rhymes to himself. He has been sternly forbidden by Dame Barbara to publish it here, on pain of her instant departure with her fictional flock of unravished virgins.

16 comments:

zola a social thing said...

Is there a true blue blooded film to go with this "juicy item"?

Louis B. Mayer said...

Are you a candidate for the casting couch, Zola?

the crafty chambermaid said...

I shall emulate Alec Guinness in 'Kind Hearts and Coronets', and play a dozen daughters. Should keep me busy....

The Burrow Beadle said...

No pornographic picture making in the Burrow.

By Order

Merkin said...

Nice one, Anti.

Bodwyn Wook said...

I Think it was demographer Peter Laslett (/sic/) who wrote of UK 'high bastardy-rate areas' -- delightful stuff; and, I ask often hispanic "illegal" friends:

"POR Que esta usted trabacho en la ciudad Mankato -- esta una localidad de una ritma maxima de la bastardia, non?"

To which the usual reply is 'piss-off, mate, these Republicans ARE a load of shits, but the pay ain't TOO bad, eh...?'

zola a social thing said...

It is ok for judges to do porno stuff so why is it banned here?
The jury smiles in guilt.
How much the USA is a UK-Today.

anticant said...

The US judge story reminds me of the ancient one about the Customs Officer asking a traveller whether a book in his luggage was pornographic, and getting the retort "How do I know? I haven't got a pornograph!"

My late friends Mary Whitehouse and Lord Longford were, of course, walking pornographs.

zola a social thing said...

Paul Foot did not have gray or long hair(s) but.......... Longford was not a Trump card either.
Longford did a bit of good.
I remember them well as being quite different from Shitehouse in the lighthouse.

anticant said...

Yes, Frank Longford - with whom I had a number of dealings - did some good, but he was a holy fool who was more foolish than holy.

One of my favourite stories about him is that, having written a book on "Humility", he went into Hatchards to protest that they hadn't featured it in a window display!

Wigan and Leigh Local Authority Nursery Rhymes, Limericks and Assorted Other Approved Early Learning Resources said...

There was an old father from Wigan,
Who had so many daughters he just couldn't shag em.
So he got this idea, right,
To go down to the pier, one night,
And find his brothers, cousins and uncles to help him.

Bodwyn Wook said...

AUNTY, You villain, how's the Lago -- or have them skiving swiss bastards put up a dam?

butwhatif said...

I've just found them singing an unsung hero in Sunday's IoS Pink List. Hope you're well, AC.

ben trovato said...

My Limerick is MUCH spicier than the feeble squib from Wigan, but if I tell it I shall be summarily put in the stocks by the Beadle.

dame barbara de carteblanche said...

And the pillory too, with copious supplies of rotten eggs for my spotless virgins to fling at you!

Much better stick to serving me with an inexhaustible supply of pink gins as I concoct my latest midsummer bosom-heaver: "Hot Pursuit, or Chased But Still Chaste in the Dingle".

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