Saturday, 18 August 2007


Two pairs of Mrs Malaprop's Jaeger stockings have disappeared off the Burrow washing line. Just after she missed them, there were plashing sounds from the river and the Beadle caught a glimpse of a kayak paddling hastily downstream.

A £50 reward is offered for any information leading to the return of these essential articles of ladylike apparel.

By Order


lavenderblue said...

What colour were they ?

Emmett said...

THIS'LL Git yer so-called minds of it:

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons,"

:) means a smile and :( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS" ?

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

AND So it goes here in southern Minnesota, grey and raining down, quite cilly, whilst a party of late-night dervishes sleep it off in the mow!


zola a social thing said...

and "V" a virgin that goes weeeeeee weee all the way down the road.

They are the best ones.... says Merkin.

zola a social thing said...

Sorry Anticant for that diversion but I remain serious in this dilemma of the stockings.
It seems that you imply my involvement.
Then you must substantiate yer claim because the only stockings I have nicked, seen and spent recently are stockings that have a hole ( a pure intentional hole I might add) in the nether regions.

If Mrs Malaprop owns these holy stockings I, for one, would clap my hands in support of such a wonderful idea in this 24/7 fast time economy.

Suspicious that lavender asks a question about colour?
Half way to guilt methinks.

Anonymous said...

Half way to paradise mor like it

zola a social thing said...

Come on now you must be quick it is a Saturday and this world is my oyster.

lavenderblue said...

Pearls before swine.
Well. MY stockings are delectable........shimmery.....tight..all sorts of heavenly, thank you, still on my line, where the wind whips warned..I so like whipping people into action.

lavenderblue said...

love it ! love you - and where,by the by is the photo of your pussy that you promised me ?
( Show you mine if you show me yours.....)
Also - has anyone read a book by Thorne Smith called the 'Bishop's Jaegers '? Superb...A book,now possibly out of print, sadly......but truly wonderful.
( wrote 'Nightlife of the Gods' and 'All God's Chillun's Got Shoes '.
I cannot for the life of me see Mrs Malaprop wearing 'Jaegers'.
Well, certainly not the ones that the Bishop wore, unless, as I suspect Anticant and ZoZoBear know better

Merkin said...

Wooko, I am tempted to filch the lot and put a post round them.
Referenced, of course.

Emmett said...

merkin, Help yerself!

OTHERWISE, As I understand it & on the basis of Beadle's Last Best, there is to be NO posting of pussy-prints in these purlieus. And, as to my cat, well, if and when, I shall put up pix of Ms Pouncer -- but not NOW, as I am at work on a grant-application for history-broadcasting money from off of the Minnesota State 2008 Sesquicentennial Committee -- gaudy lies /are/ being composed & told, but it all takes TIME, you see....

FINALLY, Aunty, Benny Raymond addresses /you/ some backchat in the following:

SALAMI-Bologny, you kaffirs,


The Burrow Beadle said...

No pussy-whipping in the Burrow.

By Order

mrs malaprop said...

One pair magenta and one pair royal blue.

Merkin said...

Done, Wooko.

lavenderblue said...

Magenta....Royal Blue.....
are you sure they do not belong to the Beadle ?

mrs malaprop said...

The stockings were indeed a gift from the excellent Beadle, with whom I am happy to say I am on cordial terms - our favourite cordial being rum punch.

lavenderblue said...

I do hope they were not,ahem,second-hand,so to speak.....

ben trovato said...

Mrs M's stockings have been found! They were in Wooffie's basket. The noble animal fancied them as a cosy lining. Mrs M is now knitting him a woollen rug. Some folk aren't half spoiled.

zola a social thing said...

Wonder if the good Mrs Malaprop would knit poor ole Zola a little something for the hard coming winter.
A willy warmer is always needed up here.
What about it Mrs M?

lavenderblue said...

ZoZoBear..wouldn't one of the Stockings do ?

Emmett said...

OH, Miaow!

zola a social thing said...

Emmett please keep that pussy under control in these dangerous times.