Saturday, 15 November 2008

A CONFESSION TOO FAR

BEN TROVATO writes:

While Anticant and Dame Barbara are frolicking in warm thermal baths [or wish they were], I am minding the shop, with the invaluable assistance of the faithful Beadle and Mrs Malaprop, not to mention Wooffie [who says "why not?"].

Gleanings from the internet joke factory have been a bit sparse lately, but I thought the following might amuse - though the bad language at the end will doubtless shock Zola to the core:

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: Definitely not!

WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND: Of course I do.

WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE: You would? (With a hurt look on her face).

HUSBAND: (Makes audible groan).

WIFE: Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?

WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed.

WIFE: - silence -

HUSBAND: Fuck....


6 comments:

Merkin said...

Anti, I don't want jokes off the net - I get them sent to me all the time.
I want your experience and experiences - before it is too late.
Your writing of past times has been truly wonderful and I crave another dosage - whether in the Burrow or The Arena.

Leave the jokes to the stand-ups and fill the Net with your own personna.
We need it - more than ever.

The Burrow Beadle said...

No bullying in the Burrow.

By Order

anticant said...

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, moves on." [Omar Khayyam]

No more free drinks in the Snug for you, Merkin.

And if you're not careful, you'll get yourself crossed off the list for a copy of my impending Memoirs.

Back to your caber tossing!

Merkin said...

Profuse apologies to all Burrow staff.

(Mine's a large Bells - just like Charlie Paris).

Impemding memoires?
Thatz more like it.

(And a half of lager).

anticant said...

If they actually do see the light of day, a magnum of champagne, more like.

zola a social thing said...

Have ya'll lost all sense of decent civilisation?
A packet of crisps please.
Will the centre ever hold we ask.