While Anticant and Dame Barbara are frolicking in warm thermal baths [or wish they were], I am minding the shop, with the invaluable assistance of the faithful Beadle and Mrs Malaprop, not to mention Wooffie [who says "why not?"].
Gleanings from the internet joke factory have been a bit sparse lately, but I thought the following might amuse - though the bad language at the end will doubtless shock Zola to the core:
WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: Definitely not!
WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?
HUSBAND: Of course I do.
WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again.
WIFE: You would? (With a hurt look on her face).
HUSBAND: (Makes audible groan).
WIFE: Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house.
WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?
WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?
HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new.
WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?
HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed.
WIFE: - silence -
HUSBAND: Fuck....
6 comments:
Anti, I don't want jokes off the net - I get them sent to me all the time.
I want your experience and experiences - before it is too late.
Your writing of past times has been truly wonderful and I crave another dosage - whether in the Burrow or The Arena.
Leave the jokes to the stand-ups and fill the Net with your own personna.
We need it - more than ever.
No bullying in the Burrow.
By Order
"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, moves on." [Omar Khayyam]
No more free drinks in the Snug for you, Merkin.
And if you're not careful, you'll get yourself crossed off the list for a copy of my impending Memoirs.
Back to your caber tossing!
Profuse apologies to all Burrow staff.
(Mine's a large Bells - just like Charlie Paris).
Impemding memoires?
Thatz more like it.
(And a half of lager).
If they actually do see the light of day, a magnum of champagne, more like.
Have ya'll lost all sense of decent civilisation?
A packet of crisps please.
Will the centre ever hold we ask.
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