Friday, 5 January 2007


anticant is taking a long weekend off from blogging to recharge his batteries. There are other things in life besides cybertalk calling for his attention, and he needs space to consider whether he wishes to continue devoting as much of his time and limited energy to the internet as he has been doing lately.

While he is away the burrow snug, or taproom, will remain an open thread for visitors, comments, and chat. There is a welcoming fireside, ben trovato will be behind the bar, and the Beadle has strict orders to permit no knicker-waving.


Jose said...

Enjoy a good deserved rest, Anticant. I look forward to your re-emergence.

zola said...

Best wishes Anticant.
However i do suspect you are taking your long weekend due to your secret Epiphany happenings.

lavenderblue said...

i hope that your long weekend is all that you wish for, and that you will miss us as much as we will miss you.

ben trovato said...

I'm getting bored with waiting for some callers who will order something stronger than tonic water, so I've dug out a few old chestnuts.

The formidable Lady Astor - one of the earliest woman MPs - once said to Winston Churchill: "Winston, if I was your wife I'd put poison in your coffee." Churchill retorted: "Nancy, if you were my wife I would drink it!"

"Sir, I mind my belly very studiously, for I look upon it that he who will not mind his belly will mind little else."

[Still a few mince pies left...]

anticant said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ben trovato said...

anticant has just phoned in to say that he has been reading a remarkable pronouncement by Tony Blair, which he would like to draw to the attention of fellow Awkward Squadders and visitors to the burrow:

zola said...


zola said...

Ben : What gin do you have back there is it Gordons? Hope not.

ben trovato said...

Really, Zola - the very idea! [Cherie] Booth's, of course.

zola said...

I brew me own anyway.
Good stuff it is.

merkin said...

Couldn't get Anti's link to work.
Probably because I was drinking my Bombay Sapphire with a Cherie on top.
(plus a little umbrella on the side).

Jose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jose said...

It seems it doesn't want to work. Let's see if this time it does:


zola said...

Anticant : Concerning the removal of coments by the author.
Can we have a rewrite and edited version so that we know the main points?

anticant said...

Zola, It isn't censorship or second thoughts. I and ben only remove comments when there is an error in them, and then we re-post. I think Jose removed his because the original link he kindly provided didn't work. The new one does.

Back to the bottom [of the class - not the Lady from Crewe].

ben trovato said...

To while away the time during anticant's ruminative absence, I am offering a prize of two large double whatevers and six hot mince pies for the best [in my judgement] limerick concerning Zola and the Infamous Lady from Crewe. Suggestiveness, not smut, please! [Children may be watching].

zola said...

Please be nice

trousers said...

From Crewe, there came a fine Lady
Whose dealings with Zola were shady
He promised her gifts
But caused quite a rift
When he said "You'll have to wait until payday"

Just off the top of me head

trousers said...

Now Zola was an Awkward Squadder
An idiosyncratic blogger
This Lady, she said
He won't share my bed
Cause I don't share it with such awkward fodder

Bit wordy. I'm going for a walk. I may be some time.

notanticant said...

The Infamous Lady from Crewe
Was stuck in the waiting-room loo.
She whistled for Zola
To come and console her,
Which the Beadle forbade him to do.

trousers said...

Once while descending a ladder
The Lady of Crewe saw a shadow
Beneath was our Zola
Drinking strong Cola
And noisily emptying his bladder

Ok I put the kettle on, I'll go for a walk later

The Burrow Beadle said...

The Lady remained inconsolable
And her grief had become uncontrollable.
So I took her fish
Upon a large dish
But she yelled "What I wanted is Zola, fool!"

ben trovato said...

I'm beginning to regret this. It's getting out of hand already.

trousers said...

Whilst blogging on serious matters
Zola was feeling quite shattered
So the Lady from Crewe
Asked "What will you do?"
So he went to the Burrow for a natter

trousers said...

Of Zola, The Lady was fond
To her feelings, she wished he'd respond
She spent several nights
Waiting at Pike's
But Zola was down at the Pond!

trousers said...

In the depths of Wittgenstein's discourse
Zola was....

....nah, I'm going out for a very long walk.

edwardlear said...

Said the Infamous Lady from Crewe
"Now this is a right rum to-do.
I've lent my best knickers
To dear old billstickers.
Now Zola is after them, too."

ben trovato said...

You lot might at least try to make them scan.

trousers said...

But! Before I do

Whilst blogging on Wittgenstein's discourse
Zola was full of remorse
The Lady, he'd asked her
To cook him some pasta
But she made quite a mess of the sauce!

Phew. See you later.

Jose said...

I deleted my first post because I made a mistake when giving the link. To obviate unnecessary work to readers.

You can rest assured, Zola, that if I had written something of any likely interest I would have left it for readers to slaughter.

mr porter said...

Said the Lady to Zola: "Why blogging?
We'd be far happier snogging
In the Junction at Crewe
Where there's far more to do
Such as leather, and handcuffs, and flogging."

trousers said...

HAhahahahahahah! Brilliant ,mr porter!

trousers said...

The Lady and Zola were smitten
But Zola was twice shy (once bitten)
"You're mine" she had said
Shy Zola had fled
So she made do with stroking a kitten

Merkin said...

I was going to thank all concerned for helping me to get a peruse of the Tony's Values Link, then thought better of it.
You see, I have got to a stage where the very sight, sound or thought of Blair or Bush does things to my insides. No matter. I did open this mental Pandora's box, but was only saved from an apoplectic fit by an emergency call which led to a visit from a friendly St. Bernard with a bumper box of De-Luxe Mince Pies.
That was a close call, said he changing the batteries in his pacemaker.

gingerwaster said...

Well, just to add a little titbit from Broone's CIF blog (sorry, getting serious and earnest again, but this is also quite comic) :

A quick glance at the press every day tells the whole tragi-comic story about our civilization. Here's one from today's BBC :


About 5% of America's 65 million dogs are thought to be obese. The world's first weight-loss drug for dogs has been approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA).
Slentrol, made by the pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, is intended to significantly reduce the appetite and increase fat absorption in canines.

The FDA's head of veterinary medicine said the drug was a welcome addition to animal therapies because of an apparent increase in dog obesity in the US. Americans own 65 million dogs and almost 40% of US households have one. "
-----------------------------------So we have squandered how much money designing pills for fat dogs ? How many of our keenest minds have been dedicating their brainpower to this ridiculous research ? What was the justification ?

Ah forces of course. Which means, we'll produce any spurious, no doubt polluting, oil-based product, at whatever cost, just as long as some spoilt rich dummy can be persuaded or indoctrinated into buying it and a quick buck can be made.

The question comes to mind : why aren't our labos dedicating a similar research effort to the production of a pill to FATTEN undernourished human beings ? There are, after all, a lot more of THEM than there are fat dogs....

Ah forces, once again. No spoilt rich dummies
to buy THAT pill - so no profit, no investment......oh and let's not forget, if they get to eat properly, how likely are they to accept the starvation wages and 19th century working conditions our dynamic multinationals so generously offer them throughout the "developing" world ? We might have to increase their wages which would mean, horror of horrors, we would no longer be able to make a margin on fat dogs.

Business, after all, is business. And human stupidity is, after all, human stupidity.

I better add a Zola limerick just to be in tune with the burrow. Oh dear, I'm bloody useless at limericks, but here goes :

Anticant said to Zola : "if you
Continue to peddle your poo
In my burrow when blogging
I'll remove your login
And if you pursue I will sue"

Musing on the fate of Billstickers
Zola rapidly pulled up his nickers
Then Porter suggested
Poo-time be invested
In flogging the Lady from Crewe

Well Zola had a bout of congestion
At Porter's unseemly suggestion
So he had Porter tied
To a tree in the Hyde
And plied his backside with bamboo
(And invited the Lady to view)

the station master said...

Says the Lady "I'll knock Zola's spots off
By lacing his posset with lots of
Neat vodka and brandy
To make him feel randy".
But sly Zola just drinks up and trots off.

anticant said...

[just happpening to pass by}

Thanks for that input, Ginger. These are surely the most pampered, effete, self-indulgent folk the world has ever known.

fishy finn said...

A Laplandish person named Zola
Said "these limericks get droller and droller.
If that damned anticant
Don't scupper this rant
His burrow will feel my steamroller."

notsuzon said...

I act for the Lady of Crewe
Who's Infamy's nothing to do
With that Quixotic Zola -
He's just a fast bowler
Who knocked both her bails off in two.

Merkin said...
GingerWaster quite rightly points out the nature of the enemy.
However, the enemy is cleverer than we think as this Onion link shows :
'Bush an armchair physicist'?.

zola said...

Zola sneeks back to sniff around and check out for safety.
snif snif ...

ben trovato said...

Suzon [the real one] asks me to post this:

The amiable Lady of Crewe
Had lamentably little to do.
Inkspots made a suggestion
In the form of a question
To which she replied, "Well, would you?"

tyger said...

Get back to work anticant.

Anonymous said...

Zola has been seen preparing many sticks of some length.
Are these sticks for prodding the burrow or for whacking the arses of the revolting classes?
Time will only tell.

The Burrow Beadle said...

I am Master of the Workhouse here, Mr Tyger.

ben trovato said...

Could they not be for the delectation of the Infamous Lady?

Anonymous said...

News Flash : Zola is within sight. His stick is visible. long and strong looking ( nothing like a spud at all) and something dangles from it.
It has been said that it looks like a white flag. However others suspect it is yet another pair of knickers.
We will update you as the news comes in.

lavenderblue said...

ZoZo is playing Pooh suspicious lot.........