The Great Hall, Castle Anticant
Enter Judge Anticant, muttering to himself:
“The Festive Season is upon us
A pantomime would be a bonus
With thrills and spills for lovers true
And spells by Fairy LavvyBlue.
I’ll get Dame Barbara to write it
And Wizard Zola to ignite it
With spicy wit and lots of booze –
A surefire winner, we can’t lose….”
Enter the Housekeeper, Dame Malaprop:
“What’s this? Anticant talking to himself?
The poor old boy’s long past the shelf!
I’d better fetch the trusty Beadle
Who knows the Master how to wheedle.
And if that fails, I’ll send for Ben –
Old Anticant likes younger men.”
Anticant:
“Now, Dame, tut, tut, pray don’t presume
To throw your weight around the room,
Just set to work and wield your broom.
We’ve company arriving soon,
A spaceship from the blogosphere
I’m told will very soon be here
And it will be sore heavy laden
With Ogre Wook and umpteen maiden
Ladies he describes as ‘lewd’.
I hope they’re not arriving nude!”
Enter the Castle Beadle:
“Don’t fear, Sire Anticant, for I will stop it!
Anyone naked won’t half cop it.
They will be put into the stocks
And pelted with marshmallow rocks
Until they are all moist and sticky
And then they won’t feel very tricky.
Just to ensure there is no hassle
I’ll post a notice in the castle
To warn any incoming boarder:
NO NUDITY ROUND HERE BY ORDER”
Exit Dame Malaprop and the Beadle. Anticant shakes his head doubtfully……
4 comments:
The Chambermaid began it all
Low she was.
She entered my bedroom
Up high I was.
She smelt my pot, and said,
Where is your pot
That needs to be emptied and cleaned
By my lot.
Bent down she did
After info not hid
And she has never been the same
Again, and
Again.
28 days for reflection
28 days for defection
But the Chambermaid knew
That that period was not
never, ever,
long enough.
For detection
THE Great difficulty is that to-day's seven-year-olds have been exposed to entirely too, too much postmodern & 'values-neutral', PC, telly and are hence likely mostly to just sneer at old-time ogres and /soi-disant/ lewd maidens.
Children who sneer aren't welcome here
Let's leave them to their folly.
Our panto's for the young at heart
Who know how to be jolly.
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