ben trovato has been rummaging in the burrow cellar, and has unearthed the following chestnuts:
RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD IN ONE MINUTE
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say "Shit happens."
Buddhism: Shit happening is an illusion.
Islam: Shit happening is the will of Allah.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Christian Science: There is no shit to happen. It’s all in the mind.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Atheism: Shit happens for no reason.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, shit happens, shit happens...
Stoicism: Shit happens. I can take it.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Let us in and we'll tell you why shit happens.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit and see what happens.
Scientology: You can stop shit happening by giving us lots of money.
START EACH DAY WITH A SMILE
How to start your day with a positive outlook:
1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it "Tony Blair".
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to delete Tony Blair?"
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly.
You will feel even better if you do this every hour or so........