Thursday, 21 December 2006

A WINTER'S TALE [OR TAIL]

ben trovato writes:

Tony Blair called Prescott into his office one day and said, 'John, I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win back Middle England'.

Great idea Tony how will we go about it?' said Prescott.

'Well' said Blair ' we'll get ourselves those long Barbour coats, some proper wellies, a stick, and a flat cap, oh, and a Labrador. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in "Much Something or other". We'll show we really enjoy the countryside.'

'Right Oh' said Prescott.

A few days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from London in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just such a place they were looking for (Much Piddling-in-the-Brook) with a lovely country pub (The Surly Yokel).

With the dog, they went in and leant on the bar.

"Good evening Landlord, may we have two pints of your best ale, from the wood" said Blair

"Good evening Prime Minister" said the landlord, "two pints of best is coming up"

Blair and Prescott stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to those who came to the bar for a drink.

The dog lay quietly at their feet. Suddenly the door from the adjacent bar opened, and in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail, looked underneath it, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar. A few moments later, in came another old shepherd carrying a crook. He walked up to the dog, lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and he went back to the other bar. Over the course of the next hour or so several other locals came in, lifted the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually Blair and Prescott could stand it no longer and called the barman over.

"Tell me," said Blair, "why did all those old shepherds come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old custom?"

"Good Lord no," said the barman. "It's just that someone told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two arseholes!"


6 comments:

zola said...

Anticant : You are our resident storyteller par excellence.
Keep em coming.

Anonymous said...

What about the dog with two pricks?

anticant said...

Trust you [whoever you are] to lower the tone of the burrow! The dog didn't have two pricks - or two arseholes: just the PM and Deputy PM. Surely that's more than enough for a poor hound to endure - unless David Blunkett was pulling on his lead too....

Anonymous said...

Sorry it was just the blind leading the blind I guess.

Anonymous said...

Excuse me, there is an anonymous person here who is posing as the REAL anonymous person.
That was not ME.

anticant said...

The unreal anonymous person must be billstickers.